“He touched me and it felt, as if the stars were dancing across my skin.”
He said “thanks for the memories”
Because that’s all I’m good for now,
Being remembered as someone that was.
Soft summer nights with you, swimming in the pools, enjoying sunsets views from our room, eating whatever we wanted and making love while breathing into each other’s hearts a wild fire… I still love you.
If I had a life motto, it would be just that…
I keep seeing posts online of people being so excited about the next thing in their lives… they can’t wait for what happens next, and most of what they seem to be doing is wishing to be already then, but once it’s happening, it’s a blur because they’re still thinking about whatever happens after that…
It’s kind of exhausting and sad, in my opinion. There’s so many awesome moments that they’re not fully enjoying, and it’s like – just stop, because it’s worth it. I practice comfort & pleasure. I dwell in the little precious moments, and I love just being in the present. It makes me feel empowered and relaxed. There’s a beautiful inner happiness from doing that, so I encourage you to try it as well.
My boyfriend and I went to this amazing Israeli restaurant in Paris, named “Shouk” the food there is extravagantly tasty. In appearance simple, it’s actually elaborated in savor, a good cuisine that fills you up pretty neatly. Then we had coffee at “Craft”, cute spot.
Who would have thought LA was so cold in March…
After crossing an entire ocean, and a continent… we finally arrived in beautiful, sunny Los Angeles. Where it was freakishly cold. Or were we too sleep-deprived to feel any warmth, I don’t know.
What I do know is that :
– There were no Uber answering from LAX, thanks to their slow wifi.
– I had forgotten to refill my T-Mobile account so I couldn’t use data to move away from the airport and eventually get an Uber to drive us home.
– That we didn’t have any change for at least taking a bus away from LAX, because we hadn’t thought this through…
– We did finally find an ATM and someone who accepted to change a 10$ bill.
– Somehow we managed to miss our bus, so we had to wait almost an hour for the next one…
– Finally, after 15hours or more of crazy travel, we were home-ish… except the apartment I used to stay at, was now the house next door. We didn’t even have the right address, oh well.
After those insanities, we decided sleep would be our best ally – the next morning was a total breakfast binge at Denny’s ! Welcome to America !
Sometimes the outside doesn’t match the inside…
I remember I didn’t feel pretty that day. I put on some nice clothes and I tried to make myself look the best I could for my boyfriend, but in reality, I had a lot of anxiety and was too self-conscious about my appearance. He was kind enough though to make a whole photoshoot happen… that was a special feeling I will never forget, and sometimes when I’m down I wish to relive that day somehow. Because he made me feel pretty.
I’m someone who deals with a lot of sadness and issues, but I won’t show it. I’d rather just put on the best fake smile I can, and forget about me, focus on whatever else I can. Some days I even wish I could erase myself, and some other days I manage to do so. I think pretending that I’m fine is a way to combat what’s making me feel bad, and that’s why I keep doing it. The most important thing I do is to get up & push myself to go through a daily routine, which is helpful to maintain my stability.
Memories from London
I’ve been sharing a lot of pictures and videos I’ve taken prior to getting my MacBook, just because I don’t want them to go unseen. So bare with me, because there’s still a bunch to go and once I’m done with that it will be all-new content.
It’s actually kind of therapeutic because I’m also classifying my files, and updating my online stuff – which has been a huge mess to deal with. At first, it seemed so depressing, like how the heck am I ever going to be done with that… but as the days go by, I’m really starting to see the end of the tunnel.
I feel relieved and freer now that I have a computer and I can plan, re-arrange and work on ideas I couldn’t let myself focus on. There are some people who will tell you that, you don’t need the “right equipment” to get going, but I don’t think it’s necessarily true – at least not for me.
I needed this to kickstart myself, and I’m so happy I managed to make enough to finally afford it, and that I never gave up on my priorities no matter how difficult some days were. Keep on believing in yourself, and do what it takes to get what you need to make your dreams come true.
Madison Kennedy 