I am the “Bye Girl” !

I promised you guys an Advent Calendar type of month, posting a blog update every single day until Christmas… I got so excited by the idea but I completely lost track of it, and today is my 10th post of the 24th I said I would do;

I still want to get them all done, I’m just going to publish a bunch to fill out those other days I missed out. It’s going to be a lot of work, and I know some of you are going to think there’s no bother in doing that because I understand that you’re glad I came back blogging at all, but it’s important to me as I challenged myself & I wanna succeed in that matter.

Plus it’s highly motivating, as the new year’s coming I wanna change my bad habits and adopt new ones, so I can become a more hard-working person, someone who goes after her dreams and completes them.

I was watching the new season of Fuller House on Netflix the other day (…yes, I’m desperately addicted to Netflix) and in one of the episodes DJ was referred to as the “bye girl”, the kind of girl that forgets all about her friends and other commitments once she gets into a relationship : I realized that was me !

I started a job at Apple last February, it’s my first job & I really wanted to imply myself fully in it. Then I met my boyfriend with whom I fell so in love that I wanted to spend all my free time with, leaving out my personal projects unaccomplished.

It was him who started motivating me to take back my projects, and come back to this, between other things. I feel very blessed to have someone like him in my life, I want to respect my path and I won’t let go this time around, even if it takes me a couple tries before I get there. I will not be the “bye girl” – I got my wake up call.

It’s time to go !

We’re going back home !

It really is overdue to go back to my beloved city of angels. My sister is coming along this time around, we’ve planned a whole month away to California – it’ll be from March to April.

We’ll be arriving just in time for WonderCon, my favorite convention down in Anaheim. We’ll also go to Disneyland while we’re there that weekend. We’ve decided for San Diego & Las Vegas to be part of our trip, but we’ll probably add other cities because we want to explore.


We won’t be staying in L.A. the entire time, we’re bound to it but we need adventures ! I got this crazy idea to film our vacation and make it into a “reality TV” type of web-series, lightly scripted, totally off the rails… I’ll be posting that on here and my YouTube channel.

It’s going to be a lot of fun. We’ll be based in South Bay for the amazing beaches and because when I first moved to Los Angeles that was my home, and I miss it so much, I want to relive those awesome feelings with my sister. We’re going full California girls style ! I literally want to do the most LA-esque things there are.


I cannot wait to see my best friend Noah, who’s stayed to live there. We’re basically the same person, it’s wild. I’ll always love this place dearly and that’s why I’m attracted to going back there all the time. After these many years, I still have the same dreams… without the illusions.

But I don’t want to feel like giving up because the world is too realistic. So I’m trying again, what do I have to lose from this, everything is gain. I think we all need that bit of magic in our lives to survive it, that’s why this is important to me, that’s why we’re leaving to enjoy every single second of this nostalgic trip.

Things you don’t know about me

Winter edition

1 – I used to hate winter because of how cold it gets that season, and the snow that transforms in mud and gets you dirty… but now I find snow cute, and I like when it’s chilly outside as long as I’m wearing warm clothes. The Christmas Spirit is in me !

2 – I will drink so much hot cocoa and tea in winter, it’s actually scary.

3 – As I’m getting older, Christmas has become so important to me. I really need to celebrate it & like it should be. I have become a Xmazilla… total control freak over the decorations, and the comfort food, and music ! We’re having crazier than usual christmases now.

4 – I have the bad habit of buying myself a new pair of UGG boots every coming winter.

5 – I love staying cosy at home, it’s nice because I take extra time off to myself so I can read books… okay, and play video games. That’s the geek in me that speaks.

The Advent Calendar

Here’s to a new me !

I really love Christmas, after Halloween it’s definitely my favorite time of the year. I get all excited about the lights, the food and gifts ! People seem more merry, we sing those old timey songs that we love, we enjoy our family and friends, and take the time to ourselves as well… it’s really just a month that’s dedicated to celebrating life and all the good it brings us. So, I’m super happy to say hello to December !

In that spirit I’ve decided to come back to The Blog and bring the tradition of the Advent Calendar on here; my idea is to give you guys a new blog post every single day, until Christmas… it’s pretty much like Vlogmas that we have going on YouTube, except it’s blog-focused. The good thing about this is I can put all my joy and enthusiasm for this month, by making posts related to what I love doing, to how it makes me feel, and simply share all together that awesomeness.

I’m ready to hit it off and be blogging again, because I’ve missed this so much and it’s a huge part of me that I should never forget or give up about.

Love you ! xoxox

When i love i become liquid light

To fall in love but not know how to love is a total dichotomy. Yet, here you could be contemplating losing the person you hold dearest because your mind doesn’t hold the answers to their needs. Your actions, whatever they may be, could never be enough and this love that transforms you doesn’t do a thing to them. Can you imagine how painful and beautiful that can be.

Love is nothing but a poisoned gift. Don’t they say that the greatest loves are all tragedies… if you cannot explain it, but feel it tearing you apart, isn’t that the greatest of love ? How else would you describe these feelings that are destroying you more than anything you thought you could bear. Love is testing your survival, until you’re done and cannot take it any longer.

From the Spanish word Amor, it becomes the French to Death – “mort”. So in the same word you can find your own felicity and assassination. Because love is all that, it’s murder and suicide. No matter how many tears roll down your cheeks, that sparkling liquid is nothing but your own weakness and powerlessness towards what has to inevitably happen : which is your end.

Hello from the other side.

Just like in Lewis’ Carroll novel, I followed a charismatic stranger that led me into some sort of rabbit hole. On the other side was a Wonderland I was not able to escape. I went by a path that led me into the deepest cores of that peculiar world. I saw and lived things I had never even imagined. My wildest dreams came true, but also my worst fears came to reality. I’ve looked for a way out for a while and finally gave up. I am here now, so come either get me and brave this place, or wait for my succeeding notes… I will be writing in hope to reach you, my lost friends.

Milk & honey

Sunsets in Paris are kind of wonderful
Milk & honey

I picked up a new book at Urban Outfitters the other day, it’s “milk and honey” from Rupi Kaur… I started reading it in the bus, it’s beautifully raw and absolutely tearing me apart. I haven’t liked a book this much in forever; her feelings are so true and intense, yet she knows how to express them without being in the much… I want to be able to write down my own feelings like that. Maybe someday.
Milk & honeyMilk & honeyMilk & honey

MADISON KENNEDY
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