Dear diary,

I had a nightmare last night. It was disturbing… I think I was locked in a basement. There was no light at first, I couldn’t see anything. I was so cold. I felt my clothes wet, but I didn’t know what from. I touched the ground with my hands, it was bear and filthy with dirt. I couldn’t hear anything, and that void around me made me lose track of my senses for a while.

I didn’t move, breathed as little I could. I tried to adjust my sight but there was nothing to adjust to, it was complete utter darkness that were surrounding me. I kept wondering why was I so wet… why was it this cold, that I kept shaking until it hurt me physically. I couldn’t control my own body. I was nowhere. I felt like nothing.

I was terrified this was it. Then suddenly, a weak light above me turned on and I could finally see where I was, except that didn’t matter anymore, once I understood why I had been wet all along… Blood, there was just so much blood, I was covered in it. Some parts had dried up on my skin, but more kept leaking from somewhere… I started to feel panic as I was searching where it was coming from. The lightning was so bad, I couldn’t figure, I kept touching every part of my body thinking I could have been injured.

But that wasn’t it. My hands were disgusting, I could barely hold myself from throwing up. The blood smell got to my head, I was nauseous. I wanted this to end, I started crying and calling out for help, but my voice was mute. I thought whoever turned that light on could still be here, watching me from a corner while I was leaking my own blood…

Because it was me, all that blood, I didn’t have any injury it was simply leaking from every pores of my skin. I was bleeding to death and I couldn’t stop it; I wanted to stop it so bad. I tried to shield my body with my arms, but it wouldn’t do shit. The blood kept on going, and no matter how I put my arms around me, it never stopped.

Even from where my tears should have flown, it was blood. My screams were soundless and I knew he was there, in the dark… That he brought me here and he wouldn’t help, because he enjoyed this : having me dying in here, under his watch. Like my pain and death belonged to him only. I wasn’t suffering for my sins, but for his pleasure. I woke up it was 5am, and I wouldn’t go back to sleep. I was too scared his presence would haunt my dreams again.

That’s it ! My seven step recovery process to take care of myself has officially begun 😊 No more being lazy regarding that side of my life, time to step up and feel better, focus on the new me.

Products I bought for PHASE 1 :

1 – Caudalie, Crushed Cabernet Scrub
2 – Caudalie, Contouring Concentrate
3 – Nuxe, Body Fondant Shower Gel
4 – Nuxe, Huile Prodigieuse Multi-Usage Dry Oil
5 – Aesop, Oil Free Facial Hydrating Serum
6 – Aesop, Mandarin Facial Hydrating Cream
7 – Kiehl’s, Midnight Recovery Concentrate
8 – Nuxe, Merveillance Expert Eye Contour
9 – La Roche-Posay, Anthelios Smooth Lotion
10 – Kiehl’s, Ultra Light Daily UV Defense
11 – Viktor & Rolf, Flowerbomb Perfume

PS. Update : I changed my mind because resolutions are lame and I’m a lazy person… I won’t be sharing the process of my “7 step recovery process” but I can tell you what they were about; step 1 – Face & Body skincare, step 2 – Hair care, step 3 – Even better hygiene, step 4 – New diet & healthy lifestyle, step 5 – Exercising, step 6 – Good work ethic, step 7 – Moving to a new place & moving on literally.

Today I went to Le Bon Marchė and Marionnaud to purchase the items on the wishlist I made yesterday; I love those two places because they’re never crowded, and so shopping there is more agreeable. Also their customer service is good 😊

I found easily everything I wanted, and will show you all those products tomorrow while I apply them for the first time. Then in a week or two, I’ll do a recap and compare to see if there was any improvements on my skin.

My mini shopping spree was fun, and the sales assistants from Aesop & Kiehl’s said they noticed that the same type of people would shop at both of their stands… aka. like me 😋 shouldn’t be surprising though, those brands offer high quality and more natural cosmetics. That’s why I turned to them with my skin issues, highly sensitive and allergic to many artificial ingredients.

Last minute wishlist changes :

I changed my mind and got a Nuxe shower gel instead of the Caudalie one off my wishlist, because I totally fell in love with the almond fragrance of Nuxe ! Also I decided to get some sunscreen for my body, as it will come in handy when I’m back in L.A.

Stores where I shopped :

Le Bon Marchė, 24 rue de Sèvres, Paris 7 ème.

Marionnaud, 104 avenue des Champs-Ėlysėes, Paris 8 ème.

Hello y’all ! New year, new resolutions ? I guess so 😋
I have decided to take care of myself starting 2015. Since I’ve never had a body and face care routine before, my skin is literally screaming for help ! I got bad skin reactions lately, from the weather and lack of using any moisturizing products… it’s time to stop being so lazy and try to save my skin.

I love trying cosmetics, but actually using them on a daily basis… not so much. I’ve always been too lazy to keep up with that kind of commitment, and that was a huge mistake. I see now how important it is to take care of yourself, so that what my skin is experiencing at the moment, doesn’t happen.

This is gonna be the first post of a series of seven steps to recovery; PHASE 1 is about body and face care. Today I’m sharing with you my wishlist of skincare products I am getting tomorrow, and guess what ? I’m taking you shopping with me ! Virtually of course 😛

Can’t wait to go to my favorite stores on a mini shopping spree and show you around 😄 xoxox

Frank Ocean, Thinkin Bout You

J. Cole, Wet Dreams

The Weeknd, The Town

PARTYNEXTDOOR, Sex On The Beach

Nicki Minaj, Get On Your Knees (feat. Ariana Grande)