01/17/2015

Dear diary,

I am so sick of my life and all the men in and around it… except my friend Noah.
I’m basically a hater in a nutshell, there’s very few things I actually stand and men always find a way to ruin the little that makes me happy. Maybe I’ve never met the right ones, but what if there is no such thing; my theory, that I figured when I was a kid, is that men won’t ever be enough for me.

Maybe the real truth is, there’s no one right by me because I’m wrong… but am I really wrong of feeling whatever I do, because I can’t help who I am. All I know is that most men bore me to death. I have literally suicidal thoughts whenever some guy hits me up, they all sound exactly the same with some variations in their speech, but it’s like swimming in an ocean without depths.

They’re never interested in being friends, dot. Which means, they can’t be trusted. You can’t trust someone who is no friend of yours – again though, my friend Noah is totally unlike that and he is a man. I feel empty and lost. I’m not sure I understand my feelings most of the times, I feel disoriented, and I wonder what could ease my ache but I really don’t know.

Life is just confusing and hurtful.

Currently listening to – David Bowie, Moonage Daydream