© Photography by Madison Kennedy

Going through some of my iPhone pictures, I found these oldies from the time I used to live in Calabasas. When first I came to Los Angeles, I lived near Redondo Beach because I was going to EF school there. I was in a host family, and I stayed there for a while, even after I graduated.

Moving to Calabasas was my first time living on my own, I had to search for a house to rent and everything… it wasn’t a piece of cake but in the end I was really glad, it felt like home after only day one. Which was so good. The reason I chose to live at the city limits of L.A. is because I don’t like the rush and hustle of living in the center.

Calabasas appeared to me like a perfect little spot nearby, where I could chill and enjoy my life without the craziness Los Angeles can be. It was the best place I’ve lived in, and I had an awesome time there : that’s why I miss it so much sometimes !

It was just a short drive from the beaches in Malibu, I’d take a Uber* through Topanga Canyon in the Santa Monica Mountains, which is gorgeous. If I had some errands to do, I’d go in the cities that are south of the Valley, like Woodland Hills, Tarzana, Encino and Sherman Oaks.

And whenever I had to go to the center for some work, or meet my friends, it was fun because I wouldn’t had been there in like a couple of days, so I’d enjoy the insanity of the city and when I’d come back home at night usually, I’d just feel really happy and relaxed because, it was quiet up in the hills, and always a nice break to a more normal scenery for me.

What I used to do, and how I’d deal with my appointments and what not, outside of Calabasas, is I’d just pile everything I could in one day so I could get as much as I can done while I’m out in L.A., and that way I didn’t have to leave too often, which I didn’t like, I prefer being home or do things close by. I just figured I could have the best of both worlds, living in a cute and calm area and when I really had to leave that awesome place for whatever reasons, it would be fine for a day or two every week.

Unfortunately, what happened is I got more and more stuff I had to deal with, and living in Calabasas became problematic because it wasn’t worth it anymore, those long car rides from one point to another were exhausting me, they became too often. I would basically have to leave about every day of the week, and then come all the way back… and in between, I had to stay hang out in the city even if I was super tired and wanted to go home take a nap.

Since I’d always had to see someone or do something, and home wasn’t reachable during my “in-between” short break times, I couldn’t do as most people and just go and rest, because my home wasn’t anywhere nearby, it was in freaking Calabasas ! So, I’d just have to fill my time with whatever I could while others would go back to their homes wherever in L.A. when they had the chance; but I literally, never had the chance to…

I moved after that, in the worse place I’d ever lived in. It was way too much in the center for me to bare, that was West Los Angeles, and it made me totally unhappy. After that experience I just know I cannot take it, living in the Greater L.A. so I will never reiterate that again. Next time I come back, I’m gonna have to find something closer to the city than Calabasas, but certainly not in the center.

I am living in Paris at the moment, because I’m attending classes at an art school and I will have to stay here for the next three years because that’s how long it’ll take me to fully graduate. After that, I’ll be totally done and free to go, and if I do go back to Los Angeles it will be my main to find a new “home sweet home” but until that happens, even if I am in Paris now, and even if I left Calabasas a while ago because I lived in West Los Angeles : Calabasas will remain my home sweet home.

It’s the only place I’ve felt like I was home, and it made sense to me living there. My next place needs to be kind of like that, wherever in the world… I will be on the lookout for it, and I have a nice feeling that when the time comes, I’ll find it. Because last time, it wasn’t my choice at all to settle in West Los Angeles, I was living there with my sister. I did think it would be practical though, and was okay to try it out, but even my sister regretted it. We made a deal, and I’m the one who choses these kind of stuff from now on, which is awesome, I have good instincts when it comes to home hunting. That’s why I’m not worried, next time I’ll be knowing a lot better !

*Uber : I don’t drive, I don’t have a driver’s license but I take Uber whenever I need or public transportations and it’s all right, it’s manageable like this. Los Angeles is huge so it’s better to have a car, or at least a Uber budget. Public transportation is cheap and can be convenient for short trips, but no more than that.

© Photography by Madison Kennedy

Most of you know that I left Los Angeles because I got into an art school in Paris. Although this is the perfect place to study art, it’s been a difficult challenge for me to adjust… here’s a couple things that are the worse for someone who’s lived in California;

– There is no Whole Foods ! Forget about trying to buy tasty organic and varied foods, that are actually offered in enough quantity for consumers so they can choose, and that also suits all kinds of specific diets : there is no such thing ! So, good luck trying to find an avocado that isn’t too lame, or getting raw nuts that aren’t worth way more than they should;

and you know those awesome “prepared foods” departments in most grocery stores in California ? Well, there’s none of that in Paris… it’s a nightmare trying to keep up a healthy diet here. Don’t even start searching for kale, or blueberries, or mango : it’s like unicorn food, and basically a miracle if available. It’s like they want people to eat bad stuff.

– Barely any Starbucks, and not easy to come by… okay, so Starbucks is not a healthy place to get a drink, or whatsoever, but I’m totally addicted and need it : I just love getting my favorite drink there, even though it makes me obese. It’s my main indulgence. To me, it’s just awful that they don’t offer the same stuff or cup sizes, and it’s over-priced like insane…

Seriously, the differences between the Starbucks in L.A. & Paris are actually shocking. & why can’t they be found in more obvious places ? Some are hidden, like you have to literally follow a labyrinth of tiny streets, and you get a headache from searching them out.

– There is only two Apple stores in the city LOL ! I’m not even gonna comment on that… actually, I have to because it’s annoying; but what the hell ? Getting an appointment at one of those two Apple stores’ Genius Bars when you have an issue, is a matter of weeks, and if you come without an appointment, they just don’t deal with you.

The worst is when they’re both completely booked, and there’s zero place left, you end up having to take an appointment in one of the Apple stores outside Paris aka. so far, you don’t even want to know. Look, this is not how Apple is supposed to work, or treat their consumers : YOU NEED TO OPEN MORE STORES, HELLO !

– They don’t have IMAX theaters or D-BOX seats… and if you want a good enough seat for a movie’s opening day, you need to come at least an hour or two earlier and get in line, and just wait forever before they decide to finally let you in (which is usually 10 / 15 minutes prior the screening starts) : what a joke.

Need to add that the movie theater UGC on Champs-Elysées let some people in without minding everyone else who was already in line during the Star Wars first official screening, and they weren’t selling special tickets for that. When they let in the people who were actually in line for it, all the middle seats were filled by those nobodies, and checking later I found out that for real, they weren’t selling special “middle seats” early entry tickets.

WTF ?! I’ve been boycotting their movie theaters since then, way to ruin my first The Force Awakens screening. As an ACTUAL Star Wars fan, I woke up super early to get there and wait in the cold, wearing Star Wars themed clothes; those people who took all the middle seats weren’t even looking like they cared 1/10 of how much I did to see it… I would have appreciated a warning from UGC regarding their seating choices, and searched out another movie theater to enjoy the experience after waiting YEARS and prepared for it. This was so low, disrespectful, and freaking miserable to do.

Thankfully, I found a movie theater (the only one) in Paris that offers assigned seatings. It’s Pathé Beaugrenelle, and it’s become my favorite spot because I don’t have to get in line for anything, I just buy my seat and go. Not only that but that movie theater can play movies in 4K, 7.1 and Dolby Atmos sound. Also, I found out they have two movie theaters close enough to Paris, with IMAX projections and D-BOX seats – it’s like reliving, being able to see a movie how it should be seen. The Gaumont Pathé theaters are actually cool. I mean, for Paris.

– The weather is depressing, it’s cold and gloomy… there’s nothing more to add about this topic since there’s no beach, the sun only comes up once in a while, the rest of the time clouds cover the sky and it feels like living under a cage, and I think I’m becoming claustrophobic. It’s not good, what’s the point being in such a beautiful city if it’s always faded by rain and pollution ? I can’t seem to find that charming, though I tried.

Word count 836… maybe I should take a break now, and write the rest another time ? Or not, it’s already too much complaining as it is. I didn’t realize it was bothering me so much until I started writing some of them down. It actually feels good sharing these stuff, because in my case ranting is like a healthy habit 🙂 Anyway, I’m not gonna share the rest that’s been on my mind because I think what I should do instead, is try to make it work in Paris while I’m exiled from L.A.

PS. I love you Paris, you’re a magical city ! I’m glad to be here, and what we’re studying at my art school is giving me the tools I need for my future. It’s just some days I wonder if I’ll ever make it and survive outside California 😦 it’s a big challenge for me.

Anaheim during WonderCon 2015

Looks like I had a couple more California pictures remaining in my Photos library…

© Photography by Madison Kennedy

Sorry for not posting much these past few days, I have been really sick and I couldn’t do any editing… (apart from the couple pictures and a video, I posted on my Twitter). I missed the start of school on Monday, which isn’t so bad because I have Netflix and my favorite activity is binge watching 🙂

I am feeling a lot better now, but I’m still gonna stay home tomorrow, to fully recover. I had started working on a video before I got sick, but had to leave it because I couldn’t focus with headaches, fever and what not. Good news is I’m halfway through it, and I will post it soon. If you want more live updates from me, you can add me on snapchat : mads.kennedy

Hope you’re having a great day, stay tuned xoxox

I don’t know if this was such a good idea anymore…

I think I already wrote about my moving back to Paris on this blog, and leaving Los Angeles (which has become my home). I’m slowing down on travels too. I made both these decisions because I enrolled at an art school in Paris in September, and currently pursuing a three-years program.

I was really looking forward to being more serious, like attending classes, doing homework, and be there for tests. I thought that would give me a somewhat more stable life. I’ve basically been traveling since I’m 16 years old, pretty much on my own, mostly going back and forth from France – U.S.A. – Switzerland and Serbia. Which I came to realize, was crazy. I literally had nothing concrete, of my own, living like this.

I also couldn’t have “normal” relationships with anyone since I was always on the move. Whether it was about friendships, family or the other kind, it was always the challenging, difficult to manage, long-distance types. Dealing with all that since I was a teenager, and after years passing by, I just kind of became weary of it. I wanted a break from an on-the-road life.

So I went back to where I grew up, where most of my family lives, and decided to start something different, and new. Different because I would stop traveling from one continent to another basically, and new because I never thought I’d end up in an art school. At the time it seemed like what I needed, to learn about creation so that I would get inspired for my own projects.

I do not regret my decisions so far, being in Paris has given me stability, it’s teaching me unexpected things and I feel like it’s an experience I should go through… that it was time for me to live. Also, I actually am enjoying going to school, which is almost unbelievable coming from me, because whenever I could, I used to share my discontentment with the educational system (and how I despise everything it’s about).

The thing is, I’m not bored in class like in the past. I’m into what they’re teaching us. It’s interesting and sometimes even fascinating. & Paris is such a beautiful city, it really looks magical sometimes. I forgot how this place can appeal like a retro dream… Which will make what I’m gonna write after this sentence, confusing;

Although everything has been nice, deep down, where I buried my most genuine feelings, it’s been really difficult adjusting. It’s so much more harder than I thought. I used to live in Paris before, that’s why I have trouble understanding this uneasiness. I know with time it will get better, and I shouldn’t complain (and there’s literally nothing to complain about)… but for now, nothing seems simple, and there isn’t enough time that has passed for me to feel okay on this new path.

Even though I don’t regret my decisions, it doesn’t make them easier to assume and live with them. I’m trying my best because for at least the next three years, I’ve gotta stay in Paris and finish what I started at my art school if I want to graduate. I don’t want to give up on that, it would mean a lot to me if I could prove myself that I did it.

I’m such a wild person, always leaving for some place, or doing something unusual, untamed by anything… I strived for a life with no concrete values but in the end, I’ve got no strings attached and even though I met a lot of people in my life, it’s mostly lonely and I’m actually lost without any plans for my future, and all because I’ve always considered that futile since I live in the now.

Things change when growing up, I am curious about a different way at the time. I think it’s been so difficult because I’m not used to anything that’s been happening yet. For most of my life, I’ve lived like a misfit basically. What I miss the most is L.A., but I can’t be there, that city is intense and it drives me insane. Paris, where my family is, can help with balance. I know one thing for sure, I won’t stay live in Paris once I graduate from school. I don’t know where I’ll go, but this isn’t my home. I just need to be here to set myself right.