Dear diary,

here comes the freaking out phase ! From now on until… who knows when, I will be nothing more but a maniaco-crazed-moody-psychotic and out of control person (and I don’t give a damn this isn’t a real thing, because trust me if you were to meet me right now, you’d believe it is a thing : and that thing is me).

Guys, I am going bananas. There is so much changes happening in my life, that no matter how ready I was for them, it’s still turning my world upside down and I’m totally freaking out about it. Doesn’t mean I’m not happ… ier, happier, but hum, I sometimes wonder how am I gonna handle all those challenges.

I really am scared to be honest, and today I totally lost it for a bit; for a minute I just had to stop what I was doing because it hit me. In that moment I realized… things, and I freaked. I wish I hadn’t (it was pretty much like a panic attack that overcame me, so I mean it, I could have passed on that). But instead, I couldn’t focus on anything else but these changes ahead, and I couldn’t get a hold of myself.

I just breathed out a “wow” after a couple of minutes, and decided today wasn’t gonna be the day I’ll erupt like a damn volcano. There is still so much to do, I’ve only barely begun running from the starting point, on a path leading me to these new horizons. I don’t want to stop right there and collapse. I am gonna man up, and be in it for the long run, no matter what it will cost me because I’ve made up my mind, and I want these changes to happen. All of them.

Currently listening to : Survivor, Eye of the Tiger